Hiccup Of The Dead
by Guardian Dragon Scarlet
Summary: Hiccup walks in on a murder and has to play a goth girl on order to not get HIMSELF killed. Bad summary good story. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's a story of Hiccup faking his own death for his protection. Takes place when he's 17. He walks in on a murder and has to pretend to be a girl who can talk to the dead. Please read and review.**

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Hiccup was running as fast as he could. He knew the murderer was not too far behind. His father was just outside the back door taking a pee.

"Dad," said Hiccup in distress, "I just walked in on a murder, I saw the guy stab her and everything."

"Calm down," said Stoick, "Get inside, Gobbers here, we were talking when I had to pee. We'll try to do something."

Stoick took Hiccup inside. He sat Hiccup down on a chair by the fire.

"Tell me what happened slowly," said Stoick.

"What's going on," said Gobber in his usual accent.

"Hiccup walked in on a murder," said Stoick.

"I was walking through the forest because Astrid and I got in a bad fight and so I decide to take a walk to blow off some steam and I came to this clearing where this girl was yelling stop stop stop and the guy stabbed her to death. Dad I saw the whole thing," Hiccup sobbed, "He knew I saw and tried to chase after me to kill me."

"If I were to show him to you, could you tell me who it was that stabbed the girl," asked Stoick grabbing his son by the shoulders.

"Yeah," said Hiccup, "Dad I'm scared."

"Shh," Stoick said soothingly as he hugged Hiccup, "You'll be fine I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"But what if he finds me," said Hiccup through sobs.

"He won't find you," Stoick said, he let go of Hiccup, "Can you show me where the murder happened?"

"Mhm," Hiccup nodded.

Hiccup lead his father and Gobber through the trees to where he saw the murder. The body wasn't moved yet. This puzzled them, but Stoick knew who the girls father were. An idea crossed Stoicks mind.

"Gobber start faking tears and get a dress," said Stoick, "It's time Hiccup disappeared."

"Why the dress dad," said Hiccup trying not to look at the body.

"You're gonna need an identity to go out and go to the places you need to go to," said Stoick, "If we don't give you another identity to go by the murderer may get suspicious you're still alive. you're less likely to get hurt."

"OK," said Hiccup, "What about Astrid, we got into a fight."

"I'm sorry," said Stoick, "She'll have to believe you're dead just like the rest of them."

"We can get Credissa involved," said Gobber, "She can do make up really well."

"Do I have to wear make up," asked Hiccup.

"Yes," said Stoick, "You need to look different or people will recognize you Hiccup, you have a memorable face."

"I do," asked Hiccup the hints of crying still in his voice, "Can I be blonde then?"

"OK," said Stoick, "You should be harder to recognize if your hair is different."

"Yeah and I've always wondered what I would look like blonde," said Hiccup.

"We'll let you play a wealthy girl," said Gobber, "You'll need to talk the part too, but you can start when we get Credissa to your house."

"Wait," said Hiccup, "What about Toothless?"

"That might be a problem," said Gobber, "The dragon loves Hiccup."

"Toothless is still at Astrid's I made him stay there," said Hiccup.

"I'll tell Astrid to take good care of that dragon," said Gobber, "When I tell her you're missing."

"OK," said Hiccup, "Let her down easy for me."

"Of course I will Hiccup," said Gobber patting his back.

"We'll put a lot of perfume on him to make sure Toothless doesn't recognize his scent," said Stoick.

"Will I stay with Credissa," asked Hiccup.

"Yes," said Stoick, "You can't stay with me or Gobber, it'll draw suspicion."

"OK," said Hiccup sadly.

"I'll go talk to Credissa," said Gobber, "I'm sure she'll help, her sister was murdered too I think."

They walked back to the house. Hiccup was kept in a windowless room with his father until Gobber came Back with Credissa. Stoick stood in the door way and talked to Hiccup until Gobber came back. Credissa agreed to help. She said she had a rich niece who had blonde hair so it would work perfectly.

"You'll be known as Penelope until we can catch this guy," said Stoick, "Stay here and change Hiccup into Penelope. I have to go tell the girls family she's dead."

"Goodbye," said Credissa waving as the chief left, "Now Hiccup I hope you don't mind wearing black a lot, My niece is rich but she's also goth."

"That's fine," said Hiccup sadly, "I don't want to do this."

"It has to be done Hiccup," said Gobber, "I wouldn't want to wear a ton of black make up, black clothes and perfume all the time either."

"Hey I'm gonna be a blonde goth girl," said Hiccup, "Is it alright if I tell Astrid and them I speak to the dead. I'm want to do it for myself so I can help lift the burden on them."

"Well it would help with her character," said Credissa, "She acts like she does."

"Let's get to work" said Gobber.

They used the make up kit Credissa's sister gave her. Credissa said she would take Hiccup to Penelope's and tell them to come visit with their 'daughter' and stay for a few days. Hiccup wasn't too excited about being a girl.

Meanwhile, Stoick had left the home of the murdered girls parents and it was time to talk to Astrid. He went to her home and knocked on the front door. Astrid's mother answered the door.

"Yes," said Mrs. Hofferson.

"I need to speak to Astrid," said Stoick whipping away a fake tear, "It's about Hiccup."

"Astrid," her mother called, "What is it."

"Hiccup is missing, we found the body of a woman and we think Hiccup might have seen the murder and he was murdered also," said Stoick sadly.

"Oh my," said Mrs. Hofferson covering her moth.

"What is it," asked Astrid from behind.

"Astrid we think Hiccup's dead," said Stoick trying not to cry.

Astrid didn't say anything, she just ran off crying. Her mother turned to Stoick.

"I'll go calm her down," said Mrs. Hofferson, "Thank you for tell us about Hiccup."

"I better go tell the rest of his friends the news," said Stoick turning to leave, "Goodbye now."

She shut the door. She went to her daughters room where Astrid was crying.

"I can't believe he's gone," she sobbed, "The last thing we did was fight and now he's gone," she hugged herself.

"Astrid, we all make mistakes," said her mother.

"Mom this I can't undo," Astrid shouted in sadness and anger, "This I can't take back. I had to have some stupid argument with him and now he's gone."

"Astrid he might turn up alive," said Mrs. Hofferson, "Stoick said he _thinks_ he's dead. Meaning he's just missing. They think he's dead because of a recent murder and he was unfortunate enough to stumble in on it."

Astrid cried until she fell asleep. Her mother tucked her in and quietly left the room. Her friends came by to see how she was doing. Mrs. Hofferson told them how she reacted. They told her to tell Astrid they were there for her.

Back at the Hadock household, Hiccups face was vigorously rubbed down with a base and blush was applied to his cheeks. His eyebrows were plucked down till they were just thin lines.

"Go ahh," said Credissa tilting his head back.

Hiccup did so and lipstick was place on his lips making them black. Thick black eye shadow was put on his eye lids and thick eyeliner. When she was done he could barley recognize himself in the mirror. Credissa put his hair in ponytails and put a wig on his head.

"Who am I," he asked.

"Penelope," said Credissa, "Now to sneak you out and take you to my sisters and have them come over with you instead of my niece."

Hiccup frowned. He never wanted to be a goth, or even a girl for that matter. He wished he hadn't walked in on the murder. He wished he had the chance to say he was sorry before being plunged into this. Credissa pulled out a black dress with so many spikes on it it put Astrids skirt to shame. He was left alone in the room. He took off his clothes and put the dress on. He frowned, the dress fit perfectly. The belts were the only things on the dress not black, they were a dark red the color resembling blood. He stepped out.

"How will people not notice a girl looking like she came out of a vampire castle walking through the village then appears later and asks as if she never was there before," he said darkly, just like a goth girl would talk.

"Keep that up," said Credissa.

"UGH," Hiccup groaned, "I just want to die."

"Come on let's go," said Gobber, "Keep that up you make a believable goth girl, Hiccup."

"Thanks maybe I wasn't acting," said Hiccup, "And I thought it was Penelope."

They went to Credissa's sister on Brenin and explained what was going on.

"I'd love to," she said, "I'm Jenessa."

"Hey guess your my mom," said Hiccup in his goth voice.

"Wow you're good," said Jenessa, "Penelope, I'm leaving."

"Do I have to go," said Penelope walking in.

Her jaw dropped when she saw Hiccup.

"I'm Hiccup, I'm taking your place because I walked in on a murder and they don't want me dead so they did this," said Hiccup using his own voice.

"Dang you're good," said Penelope, "So I stay here."

"Yes," said Hiccup.

"Do you know Stoick the Vast," she asked.

"Yeah he's my dad," said Hiccup.

"What he's like a giant and your just a pea," said Penelope, "Anyway I heard he was nearly killed by vampires once."

"I'm not sure," said Hiccup thinking, "Anyway I'm suppose to be you until this whole thing is cleared up."

"Yeah have fun being me," said Penelope, "The only person you talk to is dead."

"I can pretend I talk to the dead," said Hiccup, "Planning on that anyway, tell my friends not to be too sad and all hat happy horse crap."

"Yeah," said Penelope, "What';s it like to have friends that don't use you for money."

"It's like you have brothers and sisters who are not related to you," said Hiccup, "I can get you a dragon to be your friend."

"A dragon," Penelope asked.

"Yeah," said Hiccup, "Toothless and I are inseparable, if I'm in trouble Toothless is right there."

"Wow," said Penelope.

"You know," said Jenessa, "I'd prefer Penelope to have a dragon to be around. Preferably a Night Fury if you can get one."

"Well there is one on Berk but his rider won't let you have him," said Hiccup.

"Well maybe I can make an offer," said Jenessa.

"And his rider says no," said Hiccup.

"Wait your his rider," said Penelope excitedly.

"Yes," said Hiccup, "and yes I named the dragon Toothless. He has retractable teeth."

"Cool," said Penelope.

"I could easily get a Deadly Nader," said Hiccup, "They can be just as protective."

"Cool," said Penelope.

"How much," asked Jenessa.

"No cost," said Hiccup, "I don't like to get money for it."

"Yeah," said Gobber, "If he got paid every time he trained a dragon for someone he'd be rich enough to buy a house the size of Berk."

"Dang," said Penelope, "When can I see it."

"I can fly it over and show you the dragon," said Hiccup, "I just love flying dragons."

"Well we'd better go Hiccup," said Jenessa, "You can stay here or do you want to go."

"I think I'll stay," said Penelope.

"You sure," said Jenessa.

"Yeah," said Penelope, "I think he's got me down," pointing to Hiccup.

"I just hope no one decides they want to stay the night," said Hiccup laughing.

"So later," said Hiccup waving goodbye.

"Later," said Penelope, "Hey make sure you don't tell them I'm rich."

"I will," said Hiccup running to a ship.

Gobber and Credissa took the dragon while Hiccup was forced to take the ship with Jenessa. Jenessa explained to him that Penelope hardly ever left her room. That helped since he couldn't pretend to be a girl all the time, especially since everyone on Berk recognized him. He wondered what the people would do when they find out that Stoick lied to them about Hiccup being dead. He knew to expect a beating from Astrid for this, he was gonna get the sharp end of the ax for it. He wished she knew about it, that him being dead was just an act. He knew he may never be able to come out of hiding, even if Astrid gets in on it, she wasn't going to stay this touch-me-and-I-hurt-you king of girl. He just watched as the waves of the ocean bounced by. Fish jumped the surface, Hiccup smiled when he thought of Toothless. Toothless would be trying to eat the fish when they jumped out, he would be trying to restrain him, Astrid would laugh because there was no way Hiccup was gonna hold that dragon back.

It was dusk when Hiccup and Jenessa finally arrived. He noticed Astrid sitting on the beach alone crying.

"Why Hiccup why," he heard her yell fresh from crying, "Why did you have to go so soon."

Hiccup wanted to shout 'I'm here Astrid I'm not dead it was all just an act', but he knew she couldn't know until it was over. He just followed Jenessa to Credissa's. It hurt him so much to leave her there on the beach crying all alone. Jenessa stopped.

"Go talk to her, Penelope," said Jenessa, "Tell her Hiccup's fine."

Hiccup knew what that meant, it meant for him to go comfort her.

"K mom," said Hiccup in his goth girl voice, he could easily train himself to use this voice all the time.

He went to Astrid, he refrained himself from running. It was hard but he did his best. Astrid was still sitting in the beach crying her eyes out. He leaned up against a boulder.

"Hey you Astrid," he said as Penelope.

"How did you know," Astrid said wiping tears from her eyes.

"Your little friend told me," Hiccup said hiding his voice.

"Who," asked Astrid about ready to cry again.

"Hiccup," said Hiccup.

"He couldn't have told you anything," said Astrid shouting, "He's dead."

"I know," said Hiccup, "He told me about you. You see, I'm not like other kids. You can kind of say I have a sixth sense."

"Sixth sense," said Astrid questioningly.

"I can talk to the dead," said Hiccup, "He's doing good, he told me he hates seeing you cry."

"It's not like me to do things like this-," said Astrid.

"Yeah you're usually beating people up who make you mad in any way," said Hiccup, "Hiccup told me a lot about you. And the twins, and Fishlegs, and Snotlout. Mostly about you"

"Really," said Astrid starting to smile, "If you talk to him again, tell him I'm sorry. We got into a fight for a stupid reason."

"Yeah over your guys' first kiss," said Hiccup still Penelope, "Yeah I know all about it."

"Yeah," said Astrid smiling again, "Thanks for telling me."

"No prob," said Hiccup, "It's getting dark you should probably get home."

"Why do bad spirits get out at night," asked Astrid scared.

"No," said Hiccup, "That's only on Halloween night. I don't think Hiccup would want you to get hurt. There is a killer on the loose."

"At least I'd die the way my love did," said Astrid, "Goodbye," she ran off.

Hiccup couldn't believe it, she called him her love. She loved him, she really did. He smiled as he walked away. He walked home smiling, all he could think about was that on little line. He got to Credissa's and went inside and shut the door. He leaned on the door.

"What is it dear," said Jenessa, "How did she react."

"Yes tell us Penelope," said Credissa, he still had to play Penelope.

"She was really happy when I told her," said Hiccup using the Penelope voice, "Whose here."

"A boy who lives about a few blocks away," said Jenessa, "I think Hiccup told you about him, Snotlout."

"Um, lady Hiccup is dead," said Snotlout from another room.

"I know I can talk to the dead," said Hiccup as Penelope, "I have been since I was like ten I think."

"Did you find Astrid," asked Snotlout, "I guess they got into a fight before he died."

"Yeah," said Hiccup, "She was on the beach crying and screaming out asking why he had to go so soon," he made little hand movements to emphasis his point.

"She's hitting it hard," said Snotlout, "She wants to either die like Hiccup did or die alone."

"Yeah," said Hiccup, "She called him her love when I talked to her and told me to tell him she was sorry."

"I better go," said Snotlout, "I have to wake up early tomorrow to train Hookfang."

"Hookfang, she's a Monstrous Nightmare," said Hiccup as Penelope.

"And probably about his non human brother Toothless," said Snotlout, "The Night Fury," they said at the same time.

"Later," said Hiccup walking passed him, "Where do I sleep."

"The last door on the left," said Credissa, "You'll be getting your own room."

"Thanks Aunt Cred," said Hiccup walking by, "Night mom."

"Night honey," said Jenessa.

"Bye nice meeting you and your very outcast daughter," said Snotlout leaving.

"Bye nice meeting you too," said Jenessa waving.

"I hope they bought that," said Credissa quietly once he was out of sight.

"I think hey did," said Jenessa getting up and walking to where Hiccup was.

Hiccup lay on his back smiling, "She really really likes me," was all he was saying.

"Yes," said Jenessa, "But you also have to realize that for now it's better to think you're dead Hiccup."

"I know," said Hiccup frowning, "It sucks that she has to got through this pain."

"Get some sleep," said Jenessa, "You'll need to wake up extra early to help with the investigation."

"Night," said Hiccup going to sleep.

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**Here's chapter one, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two of Hiccup Of The Dead. Please read and review. So far Hiccup has taken on the part of Penelope, a rich, goth girl who can talk to the dead. Jenessa has been playing the mother of Penelope, a loving woman who wants the best for her, um, daughter. Well anyway, life's going downhill for Hiccup/Penelope, but can Hiccup outrun a killer?**

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Hiccup woke up in the morning, time for breakfast and to put on more make-up and more black. He took off his wig since he didn't want to mess it up and besides, there were no windows in his room. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He yawned and stretched. He grabbed his wig and put it on. Looking in a mirror to make sure not a single strand of brown hair could be seen, there was a knock on the door.

"Penelope, you in there sweetie," called Jenessa.

"What mom," said Hiccup as Penelope, "I'm doing my make-up."

"There is a blonde boy here to see you," said Jenessa.

"Small or big," asked Hiccup.

"Don't say big that's not nice Penelope," said Jenessa.

"Then it's probably Fishlegs," said Hiccup.

"Wow you really _can_ talk to Hiccup," said Fishlegs surprised, "Snotlout and Astrid were right."

"I'll be out soon K," called Hiccup using his Penelope voice.

"OK," said Fishlegs, "See you soon. I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

"Mom where is my eyeliner," called Hiccup.

"In your jacket dear," said Jenessa.

"Thanks mom," said Hiccup, reaching into the coat and finding the eyeliner.

He was thankful Credissa gave him a little make-up tutorial on how he should out it on. He was wanting this whole mess to be over. He applied the eyeliner just as Credissa showed him.

"Hey there's gonna be a race today," called Fishlegs, "I think Stoick will let you fly..."

"Toothless, yeah the offspring of lightning and death itself," said Hiccup smiling at how he could surprise his friends.

"Wow," said Fishlegs, "You are sidekick."

"Hey Dumbo," shouted Hiccup, "It's psychic not sidekick."

"Sorry, I have the feeling you're gonna be another Astrid," said Fishlegs.

"Heh, funny that's what Hiccup said," said Hiccup still using the Penelope voice.

Hiccup took about ten minutes to get ready. He wanted to come on as a troubled soul. It worked Fishlegs was about ready to leave when Penelope popped out.

"So you really think the big guy will let me use his dead son's dragon," said Hiccup.

"Sure absolutely," said Fishlegs, "It will take some talking but he'll cave."

"K you're the boss," said Hiccup looking at his nails.

His nails were black. His reflection showed in them, he didn't look like Hiccup, he was Penelope now. He just hoped no one tried to lift his dress, that would blow his cover. Then he was dead for sure. 'Just play goth girly and you'll be fine,' he told himself, 'No need to freak out Gothie.' Why did he just call himself that? Gothie. Oh well, he might have to get used to that name.

"So your mom told your rich," said Fishlegs.

"WHAT," Hiccup blew up but still maintained Penelope, "I seriously didn't want anyone knowing, all anyone use me for is cash and I hate it."

"Hey I'm rich too," said Fishlegs.

Hiccup had to maintain his composure, "You're, you're what."

"I'm rich too," he said,"But I've kept it a secret my whole life because I was afraid of the same thing. None of my friends know. I just wish I could have told Hicucp when he was around, I knew I could trust him but my stupid fears got in the way."

"Um OK you want me to tell him later," said Hiccup not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah," said Fishlegs, "Forgot you can talk to dead people."

"I know, I started wearing all this black so I could keep people away but mom always tells them I'm rich and they flock to be my friend. She hasn't figured out yet that I just want someone to trust."

"Yeah," said Fishlegs, "Hiccup was the best-est friend anyone could ever ask for. Ever."

"Yeah," said Hiccup, "Hey where is that Night Fury."

"Fishlegs," called Ruffnut, "Toothless is missing," she stopped, "Whose the dead girl."

"I'm not dead, I"m goth," said Hiccup maintaining his Penelope, "I'm here to visit my aunt."

"And she can talk to the dead," said Fishlegs.

"Oh yeah" said Ruffnut suspiciously, "What's my name?"

"Ruffnut Thortson, twin sister to Tuffnut Thortson you both ride a Deadly Zippleback named Barf and Belch, need I say more," said Hiccup smiling.

"Dang," said Ruffnut, "Who killed Hiccup."

"Hiccup didn't know the killer and never saw his face," said Hiccup, "There for we may never know."

"Oh man, was hoping to nab that guy," said Ruffnut angrily.

"Don't worry, said he could pick him from a line up," said Hiccup, "Now where is Toothless."

"He ran off searching for Hiccup," said Ruffnut, "Poor guy misses him like crazy and he's only been gone a day. If that."

"Poor guy," said Hiccup wanting to cry for his best friend.

"We better find him or else Toothless will commit suicide," said Fishlegs, "Dragons do commit suicide when they're in distress."

"We'll better go find him before he ends up dead," said Ruffnut, the three of them to run off into the trees.

They found the dragon sniffing around in an alcove, the one where Hiccup found Toothless. The poor dragon seemed to be crying. Hiccup was about ready to call out for the dragon, but Ruffnut did that for him.

"Toothless," she said, "Come here boy, he's gone."

Toothless made a noise as if to say 'Hiccup's not dead, you're lying, I'll find him.' He was in as much denial as Astrid. Fishlegs went out and grabbed the creature by the saddle. Toothless tried to shake himself free, but to no avail. The dragon just sulked to the village, you could just see the tears in his eyes. The dragon just wanted to die. Hiccup rubbed his head, just like he always did to cheer him up, the dragon just walked faster.

"I've never seen a dragon so sad," said Ruffnut sadly, "You must have reminded him of Hiccup when you did that."

"Yeah," said Hiccup using a sad Penelope voice, "Poor guy."

They came to the village when they ran into Gobber.

"Um, Penelope, you're wanted by Stoick," he said.

"K, see you guys later," said Hiccup running after Gobber, "What's going on."

"They may have caught the killer," said Gobber through pants, "We're hoping it's him. Did you see how sad Toothless was."

"Yeah, just wanna get this over with," said Hiccup sadly, "I miss him a lot."

"Don't worry, you'll get him back soon," said Gobber slapping his back.

Hiccup just played Penelope the whole walk to his home, or well Hiccups home, he was Penelope now until this guy was caught. He wanted to go back to his old life. Crazy thoughts crossed his mind. 'What if they never catch the killer?' 'What if the guy kills Stoick?' 'What if this guy committed suicide?' 'What if this guy went to another island?' Hiccup just sighed, there was no guarantee this guy was gonna be caught. Hiccup missed Toothless, he missed Astrid, he missed everything he had in his old life. 'I'm never ever going to commit suicide,' Hiccup thought to himself.

Gobber knocked on the front door. Stoick opened and saw Hiccup as Penelope. Hiccup just hid his face under the color of the dress he was wearing. there were at least six men were lined up on the wall.

"Which one Penelope," said Stoick pointing to the men.

"None," said Hiccup using his sad Penelope voice, "Sadly none of them."

"OK," said Stoick, "Thank you anyway. The rest of you may go."

The men didn't grumble when they walked by, they understood the reason why Stoick was doing this. They thought this murderer killed Hiccup and an innocent girl. Hiccup looked longingly up at his room.

"Don't worry," said Stoick, "You'll get it back soon."

"Yeah," said Hiccup using his own voice, "Maybe," as Penelope.

He walked outside and just walked to Credissa's. There was no way Hiccup was going back to his old ways of life. 'You may have to adopt this life forever Penelope," thought Hiccup, "Good bye Hiccup, hello Penelope." He walked there almost in tears the whole trip. He just wanted this all to be over. He walked inside and went straight to his new room. He just wanted some shut eye. Credissa refrained Jenessa from opening the door.

"Let him sleep," said Credissa, "He misses his old life."

"I know," said Jenessa, "He never asked for this to happen. How do you think that Astrid girl is taking this."

"I heard she was caught with a knife cutting herself," said Credissa, "Her parents took the knife away. And her battle ax. The dragon just sits there and sulks. Toothless is such a beautiful creature, but when he's sad he's dull."

"You should have seen Penelope when her father left us," said Jenessa, "She was never so happy in her life. Her father was abusive. Once in a while he comes back for Penelope but she says no every time."

"Yeah, came here wanting to move in and I told him get the f*** away," said Credissa sipping tea she had brewed.

"Good night," said Jenessa never expecting an answer.

Astrid was sitting in her room crying her eyes out, there was nothing in her room she could use to hurt herself. No rope, no weapons of any kind, not even the bags that were in her room for Stormflys chicken were in there. Just her clothes and bed. Her father was putting a cot in their room for Astrid to sleep in. They wanted to keep an eye on their daughter. She looked out the window, the sun was setting and it reminded her of the first flight Hiccup ever took her on. That night they shared their first kiss. For the first time all night she smiled. He was gone but it was sweet to think of their kisses. Her father called her downstairs. She yawned, it was early but she wanted to sleep. She went straight to her cot and fell asleep.

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**Thanks for reading chap two. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter 3. Thanks for all of the reviews. Please read and review if haven't y****et.**

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"Aha that almost ended badly," said Hiccup catching a falling tea cup before it could shatter on the floor.

"Whoa that was close," said Jenessa sipping her tea.

Hiccup placed the cup on the table, "Well I got no more tea," said Hiccup, "Credissa I knocked my tea over can I have more."

"Sure dear," said Credissa pouring tea into his cup, "That should be peach chamomile."

"Thank you," said Hiccup sipping the hot brew, "I like this flavor," taking another sip, "Well looks like I know what I'm going to start buying."

Jenessa and Credissa laughed. Hiccup sipped his tea again. It was hot but he liked it. He sat the cup down. He itched his leg which was covered his floor length black dress. He hated the dress so much. He started wearing shorts and a tank top under neath it so as soon as the killer was caught he can just take the dress off and run around outside like there was no tomorrow. Whether it was winter or summer, snow or storm, rain or sun, he was gonna take it off. Unless his dad makes him wear it and leave as Penelope then come back as Hiccup. He did not give a crap he just hated the dress. Lightning struck the ground somewhere outside.

"So what will I be up to today," said Hiccup casually, "Sitting in my room all day."

"If you want," said Jenessa, "You need time to be yourself today."

"Thanks," said Hiccup getting up and going to his room, "See you at lunch."

"Bye sweetie," said Jenessa.

Hiccup took off his wig and threw it on the vanity. He hated wearing it, his head always got sweaty and it would smell and he'd have to wear tons of perfume to mask the sent. His dress would smell like armpit at the end of the day and his make up would run due to the sweat. Hiccup sniffed his armpit, it smelt like something crawled up it and died. He threw up in his trash can. It didn't help any to have to wear the same dress for days on end. It wouldn't be as bad if it were winter and he was sweating up a storm. Hiccup just wanted this whole thing to be over. He hated wearing the dress, he hated wearing the make up, he hated wearing the wig. He hated having to be someone he's not.

"Why do I have to be the one this happens to," he said to himself, "Why dose this have to me here wearing a black f***ing dress, black f***ing make up, blonde f***ing wig. Why the f*** me. Why," he sat on the bed, "Why," he started to cry, "Why."

He cried till he passed out. He slept through lightning striking the ground outside his shut window, he just turned over and went back to sleep. A knock on his door finally woke him up.

"What," said Hiccup fast asleep.

"You slept through lightning striking outside your window and you sleep through it but not when I knock on the door," said Credissa surprised.

"I know," said Hiccup, "My dad would sleep through me screaming bloody murder when I open his bedroom door to go sleep with him he wakes up. I guess that's where I get it from."

"Lunch is in ten minutes we're having sandwiches," said Credissa walking off, "Be out here of you're hungry dear."

"K," said Hiccup stretching and sitting up.

He just sat there for five minutes doing nothing but thinking. He thought about Astrid and Toothless. He thought about his father, Gobber and the rest of his friends. He thought about what Astrid might be going through, she said she loved him when he talked to her as Penelope on the beach that night he 'died.' He remembered her yelling and crying. He remembered that she was caught cutting herself and her parents put her in their room. She was really taking it harder than he ever thought she would. 'Just take Snotlout for me please,' he told her in his head, 'If I really was dead that's what I would want, not for you to cry over me, I want to see you happy.' He knew could tell her that as Penelope, Penelope could talk to the dead. He made up his mind to tell her to move on.

"Penelope that Astrid girl is here to see you," said Jenessa, "She wants to speak with you."

"K," said Hiccup as Penelope, he got up and put his wig on, "Be right out."

Astrid was sitting at the kitchen table, she looked as thought she were crying all day. She smiled when she saw Penelope.

"Hey Penelope," said Astrid, "What's up."

"This storm," he said with attitude, "What do you think."

"Ha," Astrid laughed, "Good one," she said looking at the table, "Can we talk alone."

"Sure come with me," he said taking her to his room, "What's up. He wanted me to talk to you anyway."

She walked into his room, she waited till the door shut until she spoke.

"Tell him I'll be seeing him soon," she said, "I can't live without him."

"No Astrid," said Hiccup as Penelope, "He doesn't want you dead, he wants to see you happy."

"Then why did he have to go," said Astrid starting to cry.

"I wasn't his fault he died," said Hiccup, "He wants you to move on."

"Really," said Astrid.

"Yes Astrid he loves you a lot," said Hiccup, "Can I tell you something, some spirits get the ability to see the future and he sees you running around chilren that aren't his and he's alright with that. If he didn't love you he wouldn't want me to tell you that."

"He loved me too huh," said Astrid smiling, "He really loved me. Even after death he loves me. Just tell him I love him," she smiled even more.

"Hey wanna see if you can stay for lunch," said Hiccup in a smiling Penelope voice.

"OK," said Astrid smiling, "Whatcha having."

"Sandwiches," said Hiccup as Penelope.

They walked out and found them talking to Gobber, he had a disappointed look on his face.

"May I speak to you a moment," said Gobber.

"Sure whatever," said Hiccup using attitude Penelope voice.

"They have a confession from a woman who claims to be the husband of the killer Penelope," said Gobber, "She said he went to Outcast Island, there's a fleet of ships heading to there now for the man."

"Yes," whispered Hiccup.

"Now no getting to excited," said Gobber, "It's only a matter of time now."

Gobber left saying his goodbyes and walked out the front door into the raging storm. Astrid squealed for some reason.

"Maybe they'll let me shove that guys dick in his mouth for killing Hiccup," she said smiling an insane smile.

"As long as Hiccup gets to haunt him as you do it," said Hiccup smiling a Penelope smile.

"Yes," said Astrid pointing both index fingers at him, "Yes yes yes."

"You two are starting to freak me out," said Credissa getting some bread out of the cupboard.

"Hey Astrid, want me to talk to him later," said Hiccup, "Oh and does he really have to be named Hiccup, there are two others floating around and it's like ugh I just want the third but all three of show up."

Astrid laughed accepting some peach chamomile tea from Credissa, "So what's it like talking to dead people."

"Well it's like having an imaginary friend, only they're real, and it can be a pain in the butt because I'll be talking to somebody and then get tons of weird looks because there's no one there," said Hiccup using a laughing Penelope voice, "And then it's an even bigger pain in the butt because they'll pop up on you while you're butt naked and it's like, say something first. I don't how many times Hiccup popped up on me while I'm changing and I just wanna slap him."

Hot tea shot out of Astrids nose she was laughing so hard. Hiccup just watched her and thought, 'If only she knew what was really going on I'd be toast right about now. Toast. Huh, sounds about good right now.'

"May I have some toast," said Hiccup in a polite Penelope voice.

"Sure dear," said Credissa making some toast, "What would you like to eat Astrid."

"Have anything that doesn't taste like tears I've been tasting tears all day and I'm tired of the taste," said Astrid and she and Hiccup laughed like school girls.

"I have cupcakes," said Credissa, "Or do you want toast like Penelope."

"Cupcake please," said Astrid smiling and talking like a little girl.

"What color of frosting," said Credissa looking at Astrid.

"Pink," said Astrid getting a weird look from Hiccup, "What I like pink cupcakes."

"OK Pink Cupcake," said Hiccup in a teasing Penelope voice.

"Batty Vampire," said Astrid in the same tone.

They laughed like teenage girls would and talked all about everything except about the murder Hiccup walked in on. It was sunset when Astrid left for home, she had eaten a dozen and a half cupcakes and was hyped up. Astrid would not stand still for the life of her. They passed Snotlout who looked at Astrid like she was nuts.

"She ate one and a half dozen cupcakes," said Hiccup in a smiling Penelope voice.

"That's a lot of cupcakes lady," Snotlout shouted at the hyped up viking girl who was bouncing off the walls energetic.

"Astrid you need to calm down," said Hiccup laughing as Penelope.

"Not till you give me fishy," said Astrid leaning her head back but still keeping eye contact with Hiccup.

"No fishy," said Hiccup, "Unless I can knock you out with it."

"OK," said Astrid as if Hiccup just asked her to go kiss a prince.

Hiccup rolled his eyes like Penelope would, grabbed her hand and walked her home.

"Crazy crazy crazy," Astrid said loudly.

"Astrid quiet you'll wake the dead," said Hiccup laughing.

"Never," Astrid howled.

"I hope you crash soon," said Hiccup in a Penelope sigh.

Once at Astrids house her parents asked how she got so hyper. Hiccup explained as Penelope that she ate one and a half dozen cupcakes. Astrid was banned from ever eating sugar again. Astrid was asleep on a chair before Hiccup left.

"She crashed fast," said her mother, "Thank you Penelope. you have been a big with Astrid dealing with Hiccup going."

"No problem," said Hiccup in thankful Penelope voice, "I am actually trying to help the investigation."

"Oh really," said Mrs. Hofferson, "Now tell me, did that lead that took the investigation to Outcast Island, did that help any."

"No it was a false lead," said Hiccup as a sad Penelope, "I wasn't very happy the faster this thing gets solved the faster I get to go home."

"Miss your friends," said Mrs. Hofferson.

"No not that no having to talk to the dead," said Hiccup in a grunt.

"Oh so that part's true," said Mrs. Hofferson.

"I better go now," said Hiccup leaving, "Goodbye."

He walked home in the falling light of the sun. Not his old home, his new one. He noticed something on the walk back, it was Ruffnut standing there. Hiccup stopped, something was off. Next thing he knew he was surrounded.

"We know you;re not a girl so give it up," said the leader of the group.

"Who are you people," he said in a scared Penelope voice.

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**Here's chapter 3, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello peeps and here's chapter 4. Please read and review. So far Hiccup is about ready to get his butt pounded. But will he be able to convince he group not to beat the tar out of him?**

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Hiccup didn't know what to do, the leader stepped up behind him and pushed him to the ground. The leader held a knife to the back of his throat. Hiccup gulped in fear. The leader spoke loud and proud.

"Well, well, well, looks like we got ourselves a cross dresser on our hands," he pushed on Hiccups head.

"Let me go or else," said Hiccup in a muffled voice.

"Or else what," said the leader evily.

Hiccup was able to turn his head enough to see the man and recognized who he was. Not as a loud proud man but as someone that would save his ass about now. The killer.

"I know who you are, Hiccup told me," said Hiccup smiling.

"Ha, who do you think I am," said the group leader.

"A mhmmm," was all Hiccup could say before his face was plunged into the soft earth.

"What was that you little creep," said the killer smiling.

Astrid woke up bothered by, that's it, she doesn't know what. Something told her to go find Penelope. Penelope was freaky girl, who would want to mess with her. She did give off that feeling she wasn't a girl. It was strange how much she knew about Hiccup. She stopped dead in her tracks, Penelope knew so much about Hiccup not because she was psychic, Penelope_ was_ Hiccup! She smacked her head for not seeing it.

"Astrid you are so stupid," she said to herself before running outside to find him, "Hiccup I am going to kick your butt into next week."

Hiccups head was being ground down by the murders foot. He was laughing hysterically as he did it. Hiccup was trying to wiggle himself out but to no avail.

Astrid stopped by the stables and picked up Toothless.

"Come on boy," she said clapping her hands and walking backwards.

Toothless sadly followed her, Astrid yelled at Toothless to pick up the pace.

"Come on, someone's life is in danger and you're being mopey," said Astrid irritated, "Faster."

The dragon moved faster. Astrid was running so fast Toothless had to keep up. They came to the spot where the killer was beating the snot out of Hiccup. Astrid sat low to the ground. She turned to Toothless.

"When I tell you, you go pounce on that guy right there OK," said Astrid pointing to the man that was standing on the poor young viking boy, "He's hurting Hiccup."

Toothless looked sadly at Astrid as if to say, 'Hiccup's dead Astrid.' Astrid smiled.

"Then save Penelope," said Astrid.

The dragon watched the man stomp Hiccup as he waited for Astrids signal. The man was about ready to stab Hiccup when Astrid gave the command.

"OK bud, now," she said.

Toothless was off in a flash, he tackled the man about ready to hurt Hiccup. Toothless was going to kill him until Hiccup said something.

"No Toothless," said Hiccup standing up and taking off his wig.

He said it without his Penelope voice, without having to hide the fact it was him and not a goth girl. He never felt more freer in his whole life. Astrid came running down from behind a house.

"Hiccup," she screeched in excitement, "You really are alive, I knew it."

"Astrid, look out," he shouted when the killer threw his knife.

Astrid moved about two feet to he right and the knife just flew passed. The killer yelled with defeat. Astrid ran up to Hiccup and hugged his head off almost. She was so happy to see him she forgot she was told he was dead. She squeezed his neck.

"Astrid, let me breath," said Hiccup trying to pry her away.

Astrid took a step back, "I'm just so happy to find out you're not dead."

"So you really do like me," he asked in disbelief.

"Oh get a room you two," said the killer irritated because he was caught.

"We're sorry to do this to you Hiccup," said a member of the group, "We were told you were some sort of drag queen."

"I guess I can be counted as one because I wore a dress and acted like a girl even though I got three legs," said Hiccup receiving laughs from the group.

"Good one," said Astrid leaning on his arm.

"Tie that murderer up," said another member of the group, "And get these guys away from here."

"Is everything alright Penelope," called Jenessa.

"We don't have to play the Penelope card anymore," Hiccup called back, "It's over he was caught."

Toothless was freed from his duty and next thing Hiccup knew Toothless was on top of him. Toothless wanted to give Hiccup one kiss for every second he missed him.

"OK, OK bud I missed you too," said Hiccup between the dragons big licks.

Stoick was notified of the killers capture. He went straight to the Hofferson household where all of Hiccups friends came running to see if he really was alive. Fishlegs was crying like a giant baby and Snotlout wasn't too far behind. The twins were blabbering to keep themselves from crying. Astrid wouldn't quit hugging him but he was happy she wouldn't let go.

"Hey Astrid sorry about that fight," he said apologetically.

"No Hiccup, I'm sorry. You really are a much better racer than me," said Astrid snuggling his neck.

"Hey the only reason I'm a better racer is because Toothless is a faster flyer," said Hiccup defensively, "Put me on any other dragon and I'd be at the first turn while everyone else would be just about done with the race."

Everyone laughed with Hiccup, he was still wearing the stupid dress.

"Let's test it we switch dragons," said Snotlout smiling.

"OK," said Ruffnut, "Our dragon will have to be put in there twice and Hiccup and Astrid are not to ride it together," pointing to the two teens who started to make out.

"What," said Hiccup pulling back.

Astrid smiled, "Glad everything's back tot he way it should be."

"Well you have to answer to me, why did you try those little stunts missy," said Hiccup giving her a serious look.

"I thought you were dead and I love you," said Astrid with puppy dog eyes.

"That's not a good excuse to try that, ever," said Hiccup, Astrid was starting to cry.

"Hey don't you dare cry or else," said Hiccup.

"Or else what," said Astrid the tears about ready to flood her blue eyes.

"Or else this," he said through a gritted toothed smile.

The tears were unpreventable as his hands tickled her side. The rest of her friends ganged up on her and she was a fit of tears and laughter. Astrid never felt so happy to have to be ganged up on. She escaped the parade of ticklers and ran out her front door. Hiccup chased her as followed by their friends and they chased each other till Stoick showed up to pick up his son. Hiccup was in the middle of being at the bottom of a dog pile where Astrid jumped on top. Hiccup shouted otu in pain as his crotch was squished beneath the weight.

"You alright dude," said Tuffnut getting up with everyone else.

"You try getting your junk squished under a couple hundred pounds and tell me if _you're_ OK," said Hiccup holding his parts.

"Hiccup, let's get you home," said Stoick Picking up his son.

"Bye guys," said Hiccup in pain from his hurting cucumber.

Stoick carried Hiccup while Toothless followed suit. Hiccup patted the dragons head and and the dragon gave him famous toothless smile. Hiccup smiled and ell asleep on the walk home. Stoick took Hiccup to his room and tucked him in.

"You can take that off tomorrow," whispered Stoick as he left the room.

Hiccup slept soundly, dreaming of him and Astrid getting married, finding another Night Fury and the new dragon and Toothless laying eggs. He dreamed that he and Astrid had a baby and all his usual dreams.

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**Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and please review.**


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